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Comments:
I said in my initial posting that I am accepting this but the truth is that if a person approaches life so differently it is difficult to relate....i was just wondering if I should have waited longer and if I misinterpreted his actions...
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I'm offended by how often you put down others posters then claim you aren't or act like you have the right to do so.
To answer to your curiousity....It does feel like I am sometimes wasting my time because, 9 months into the relationship, and it feels like I dont really know him very well.....I have been guys for such shorter periods and gotten to know them...but its quite hard with him. That is one reason why I would break up, is because we spend all this time together and I am feeling that I am spending more time and not really getting to know him. I do know it takes time to get to know someone, but this is 9 months, and I dont really really "know" him.
I'm laid back but also hard working. Looking for someone to spend a lifetime wit.
So there's a lot more to this than simply annoyance about her agreeing to play the date role to help a friend save face at a frat party. You've mentioned (later on in the thread) one example where she could have got into a very tricky situation as a result of booze and poor judgement. The same could be said of many, many people...but you're suggesting that with your gf it goes beyond the norm. That she has a bit of a problem with alcohol. To the extent that you're frequently having to cramp your own partying style in order to watch out for her.
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You don't want him to leave, this is why you aren't going to tell him. you are a coward.
She did friend zone me. I remember my last g/f of three years did the same thing. I de-friended her real good lol. Too much effort though and not many are even worth that kind of effort from me. I think I am just going to stay friendly with her at work and that's it.
i cant even put into words...
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His daughters, they are number 1,2.3 and all in the order of #1. You will never, never, be #1, (sorry sweety to tell you, please know I'm saying this in a loving tone not mean). I have two little girls, no matter what, no man will ever ever ever be able to be #1, partners come and go, work out some and don't others, but blood relatives are forever. Their needs are first, their wants are going to be first. And right now they are hurting, very badly. Take your shoe off and put theirs on. Did your parents ever get divorced? If so, what did that do to you inside, where you too young to remember? WHat if they were to split when you were older? You said they were in school? Think about how all the emotional turmoil is effecting their schooling. mommie left them too. THey only have daddy, if you come, they see you as taking him away too and them being all alone, and no chance of mommie coming back and everything going back to normal again. They don't know you. From what you write you are resentful of their only natural emotions that everyone has. You sound angry. You don't even know if you are compatible. The thrill of the chase is very intoxicating, what happens when the hide is too rough, waht happens if the meat is sour. Do you want to be stuck in a relationship where the guy is pineing over his ex. He is going to tell you he's not, but have you ever heard of the term "rebound" it's there for a reason and remember there are no exceptions, never, no, not. I know that you need to feel loved and want to find someone, but are you willing to give up everything for him, is he willing to give up all for you, do you want him to make that kind of decision right now??? By the way, i lived in the country once and hated it, you can never keep the dust out of your house from the country roads and when if rains the roads turn to mud and you can get it stuck in the mud very easily, are you ready to be a country bride, it sounds easy, but it sucks, no starbucks, no shop when you are blue, that's like once a week stuff, no going out if you are too tired to cook, no calling a friend to have a girls night, you are literally stuck in the middle of no where. There are a lot of tells in this one from someone who is third party, You should back off and tell him that until the divorce is final, you will be his friend, but you want him to be sure of what he wants with out influenceing him. Remember, If a girl chases a guy, she can't catch him, guys are faster runners and have that game down pat. You are a woman run and let him chase you. The secret is to not stop until he catches you, until he really tries to catch you so once he has you he doesn't let you go. You don't want some guy who just wants you for a second or to fill a void of a wife, you want someone that wants you, all your quirks to him are cute, all your faults are beautiful, you want him to love you because of everything, not inspite of one thing. Don't settle for a guy who is using you as a divorce crutch. Remember, even if you give up everything and go out there and live and try it, even if he tells you he won't, he could decide one day that he doesn't want you, dump you, then where will you be, no job, no home, in the middle of the country, some 600 miles and years from where ryou started, older, and sadder. think about it, you are too sexy and beautiful of this kind of stress and relationship, think about what you deserve.
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